Back to the old house June 01, 2026

Uling, my dog, died in 2005. I was heartbroken and needed an outlet, so I started writing on my first platform, Blogger. I played around with other sites but always came back to this ancient but reliable platform. It's simple and clean, just what I needed as someone who only wanted a place to type my feelings away.

I don't own a computer back then. Before I go to bed, I would write my thoughts on a notebook and visit a computer shop the next day to post it on my blog. Eventually I familiarized myself with blogging and different niches, and from 2006 to 2009, I was at my peak blogger era. I learned how to get paid by writing reviews of everything- from cheap headphones to local landscaping company. I would grin at my parents who insisted I needed a “real job”. I would cash my checks and blow it all on silly things like action figures and stationeries. I managed to save away a little, which to my twenty-something self meant that I was the definition of an adult. Yes, it was fun. But despite getting monetized, I somehow forgot why I started blogging in the first place.

Aircon May 17, 2026

 Sa tanghaling tirik ang araw ay galit,
Bintana’y bukas ngunit hangin ay wala,
Mapapamura ka na lang talaga,
Aircon na lamang yata ang aking pag-asa.

Pawis ko’y natulo na parang munting batis.

(Muni-muni sa loob ng banyo. Letse, ang init sa Pilipinas.)

Apparently, I used to write multiple times a day May 14, 2026

I found my old journals last night. It was unintentional. I was cleaning a shelf and opened boxes I had ignored for years, when I stumbled across a couple of my old journal notebooks with loose pages. Some of them still had dates written carefully on the first page. Others were covered in stickers. One of them even had names of people I randomly met or no longer talk to.

Since it's almost midnight, I told myself I would read only a few entries. But instead, I spent hours sitting on the floor turning page after page. I was completely absorbed in a version of myself I had almost forgotten.

Narcotics Anonymous May 08, 2026

I went to an NA meeting. Hindi ko na matandaan kung paano, pero naalala kong may Zoom link na nag-alangan pa akong i-click. Sinubukan kong pumasok kahit may pag-aalangan; baka mag-gatecrash ako sa isang importanteng meeting, o baka mapasukan ko ang meeting ng mga alters. Pero sige, go. Bahala na kung i-kickout nila ako. Wala namang pumansin sa akin. Siguro kasi dahil halos 100 ang mga participants, lahat ay mga taga Amerika. Ako lang yata yung hindi taga doon. Pero walang kumwestyon sa akin. Tuloy-tuloy na nagsasalita ang facilitator, doon ko nalaman na NA meeting pala ito. Narcotics Anonymous.

I am too broke to attend a wedding March 18, 2026

Ella, a very dear friend of mine is getting married. I’m one of the few people who witnessed and stood by her through both the happiest and darkest parts of her life. I was there when she had to run to the hospital after her former partner made her a punching bag. I was there during the confusing in-between of a situationship with someone we worked with. And I was there when she met Philip, the man she would eventually marry and someone who slowly became my friend too. Philip is a kind person, with a positive outlook and a clear sense of where he wants to go in life. Those were the things that made Ella fall in love with him.

That was ten years ago. Since then, life has moved in different directions. We changed jobs, chased different careers, and our circles grew bigger. But somehow, we always found our way back to each other, even just once a year over drinks, over stories, over laughter that felt familiar no matter how much time had passed.