Decluttering is hard but satisfying. I'll tell you why.

Decluttering can be a headache. It takes time and careful planning to discard the things we own, especially ones that hold value to us. And once you’re done, the next challenge is maintaining the orderliness of your home.

My desire to declutter and organize my apartment started 3 years ago but I only did it last month. Not that I was too lazy (but I admit it’s one of the factors), but I didn’t have enough time to do it. Since I work in rural communities, I am always out of town. Fieldwork usually takes a few days to a week, and when I get home, I’d take a rest so I can work again the next day. I also work during weekends. I usually have rest during weekdays but most of the time it only takes a day and I’d spend it doing paper works. When Coronavirus came, I had to stay and work at home like most workers in our country. The first 6 months were awful. I craved the internet like an addict as I was without any electronics to connect with my friends. When I started reading books, I realized that I need to reflect and re-evaluate my life. It was also the right time to declutter my home.

I didn’t have any particular plan when I started decluttering. My only goal is to reduce my things, from my wardrobe to dishware. I’ve read other articles that decluttering shouldn’t be in a rush as it can lead to feelings of regret after. Other experts suggest putting items in a box if you’re unsure whether to throw them out, then check if you still need them after a few months. I never did any of those. Like Kristin Marr mentioned in her article, be ruthless. If you haven’t used something in a while, discard it. I had a lot of plates and mugs stored inside my cupboard, most were gifts from previous coworkers. But in reality, I only use a bowl for my food. To free up space, I discarded most of the tableware and some of my cooking pots. Together with the plates, I sent them to donation collectors. I did the same with my wardrobe. After organizing, I now have 25 shirts, 2 sweaters, and 2 pairs of jeans and the rest went to donation. I still plan to reduce my clothes. I gave some of my shirts to a friend two weeks ago.

The documents took me a while before I completely discarded them. Most of them contained my personal information so I need to dispose of the papers. I don’t have a shredder in my house and cutting every single piece of paper would be time-consuming. So I enlisted the help of my bucket and water. I filled the bucket with water and soaked it in the papers overnight. The next day, I began to tear them like I’m making paper clay. After draining the water, I dried them outdoors and that’s it. My information was erased and the paper was discarded. As for the footwear, I put my old but good sneakers and sent them to donation.

It’s been a month, and I don’t regret what I did with my stuff, especially those shirts that I used to adore. I still love them, but I love the look of my closet more. My closet is much cleaner and organized, and the feeling you get when looking at it is so joyful. This is also the same as my cupboard. I now have enough space to store other things. Of course, this is not the same for everyone. The strategy I did worked well, but may not be for others. I also recommend doing research or reading some blogs about decluttering and organizing. In one of her articles, Elizabeth Larkin also suggested organizing a yard sale for your stuff.

Going through decluttering made me realize that I don’t need many material things. We may get souvenirs from events, but isn’t it that the moments from those events are much more memorable?

Online dating thoughts

 

I’ve been “single-ish” for almost 2 years now. Single-ish, meaning I still connect with my ex-girlfriend and we hang out sometimes and have random sexy times. Am I that bad? Anyway, this post isn’t about her (I’ll deal with this soon). This post is about my thoughts regarding online dating sites. Especially moderating online dating sites.

I admit online dating is not my thing. But yes, because I’m single, I thought there was nothing wrong with joining. So I signed up for OKCupid and have been here for quite some time now. I get to answer endless questions and they’ll be used by OKC to match you up with other users (using magic, yes). Here are some things I learned:

A low or zero percent match doesn’t mean you really don’t match. At all. A couple of weeks ago, I watched a video from Buzzfeed where they conducted an experiment on OKC’s personality algorithm used to match users. Buzzfeed’s Zach Kornfeld scoured the OkCupid universe to find a user that doesn’t match his personality- in short, his enemy. He eventually found one and they agreed to go out on a date. At the end of the date and the video, both Zach and the girl jived and learned new things about each other and actually found out they have a lot in common. So I, as a user, tried the experiment by finding users with less than 20% match on me. Unfortunately, all conversations I had during the course of the experiment were a flop; these girls introduce themselves a bit and then don’t respond after, or they don’t respond at all. Maybe they don’t like my profile or maybe they think I’m some stalker the way I approached them or they find me unattractive.

Even though it’s a fail, I strongly believe that the algorithm used by OKC shouldn’t dictate you on who you should date. There is one reason why this was made, it’s because most of the time it works. But it doesn’t work on all people, at least not for Zach and the girl, and maybe for me as well. Good and honest communication is the key to a good relationship. And most of all, don’t judge. Just because you’re just a 5% match with a girl doesn’t mean you’re not gonna talk to her. Go for it! Especially if you find her profile photo cute, or if she has photos with cats. :)

Spam account here, fake account there. Much like Facebook, OKC is also infested with ghosts, spam, and fake accounts. I won’t talk about this further, because most of you guys know what these are. In some instances, you may just need to be extra cautious with interactions because the use of a good-looking profile photo can either be a scammer or a phisher (is this the right word?).

(If you’re under 18, you may not want to read the next part of this post)

Dick pics here, dick pics there. One day, I was invited to be an OKC moderator. Being a moderator gives you the task of checking all photos uploaded by users, and you get to decide if it passes the guidelines and is okay to post. Since OK Cupid encourages users to post real photos of themselves, you have to use all resources to check if a photo is authentic, or if it’s a grab from Google or from a social media account. And if you’re a fan of dick pics, you may enjoy this moderator task. I am not a fan of it, but I get to see dozens of dick pics every single time I log in to moderate.

In the past months, I think I’ve seen different dick sizes and types. If there’s an anatomy test for human male genitalia, I am pretty sure I’d pass that test with flying colors. As a hardcore gay woman, it disgusts me. Even the thought of it disgusts me. And most of the time these pics come from accounts that look for hookups and sex. Still, gentlemen, kindly enlighten me on why you guys should post pictures of your shlongs online. And though I mark these photos obscene (because obviously this is prohibited under guidelines), users keep on trying to upload them. Maybe instead of posting them, keep them for the meantime until you have enough photos, create a mosaic for them, like the guy who made a Donald Trump mosaic out of dick pics.

So what I think about this is that the online dating world can be fierce and dangerous but can be fun at times. If you’re looking to interact with people from all over the world, it can be a good medium. But if you are determined to find your better half, then step up your game; maybe it’s time to update your profile. This is a dating site after all.

And please, guys. No dong photos.

(This is an old post from my now-defunct blog, and you can read it HERE. The content itself hasn’t changed but made minor grammar and punctuation corrections. Also, I’ve deleted my OkCupid 5 years ago along with some of my other social media accounts. I’m no longer interested in online dating. Hope you enjoyed this content.)