When you didn't land the job you wanted

Earlier today, I received an e-mail informing me that my application for a popular graphic design platform is no longer being considered. Although I am currently enjoying my "jobless era", the company offered this part-time position that suits my skills, and so I decided to give it a try. 

Of course, getting rejected can be frustrating, especially when it's from a company you admire the most and aspire to work with. I've applied to many companies before and got rejected so many times. But hey, it's not the end of the world. You can use rejection to your advantage, bounce back and maybe even land an even better position than the one you initially applied for. Remember these simple tips as they may help you in the future.

There are better options out there. Take rejection as an opportunity to explore other opportunities. Remember: there are plenty of companies looking for people with your skills. Review your applications, make some tweaks, and apply again. Even if you don't get the position, there's a chance you'll be contacted by the company about other roles that may be available in the future. You never know what might happen until you try.

Invest in Yourself. It's not always easy getting rejected after putting in so much work. The best way to get back on track is by investing in yourself. There are many different ways you can do this, such as going on job interviews or networking with people that have the same interests as you. If you have been rejected from a job interview, don't forget to ask questions about what could be done better next time. Then make adjustments accordingly and try again!

Take care of yourself mentally. It's okay to feel disappointed about getting rejected. As soon as you can, take the time to get out of your head and do something nice for yourself. This will help you put the rejection into perspective, and give you an opportunity to work on your mental strength. It might also be helpful to think about what went wrong during the interview or job hunt to avoid making those same mistakes in the future.

Don't give up. The first time you apply for a job, you're usually less experienced, so it's more likely that you won't be the best candidate. Instead of taking rejection personally, try and see it as an opportunity to learn. Read up on how to interview better next time, or reread the job description to see where you went wrong with your application this time. You might not get the job now, but perseverance and patience will pay off in the future!

The point is, when you get rejected, take time to breathe and reflect and assess. Then get back up and start over again. The perfect job for us is out there waiting. It may or may not reveal itself, so it's up to us to explore and look out for them.

So you want to be the cool aunt

 

So you want to be the cool aunt. That’s cool. Being an aunt myself can be fun and rewarding. But being a cool aunt can sometimes feel stressful. I have to walk a tightrope between being funny, calm, sensible, and responsible. I certainly hope they can come to me, but I also want to give them the best advice—the kind of good advice my aunt gave me.

Being a cool aunt is like being a part-time parent — you can only give back when you’re tired of parenting. I like to think of it as an exercise in parenting myself. I’ve been close to my twin nephews since birth, and sometimes I (like their parents) have a hard time seeing them grow. But I would love to be their go-to resource, no matter the situation, and I love that their parents trust me to guide them in the right direction.

I want to be the cool aunt that my niece or nephew can talk to about anything. In an ideal world, being an aunt would be easy. But it’s not always that simple. You want to be the best aunt your niece or nephew could ask for, but maybe you don’t have kids of your own or your relationship with their parents isn’t the best. The good news is that even if you don’t have little ones at home, you can still be a kick-ass aunt by following these tips.

Help with homework. It’s your nephew’s birthday tomorrow and he needs help with his homework. What do you do? First, take a deep breath and try not to panic: It’s only homework! 

1) Find out what he needs help with. 
2) Listen carefully as he explains his assignment. 
3) Ask him if he knows how to do it, or has any ideas of his own. 
4) Explain how you would do it if you were him.

Take them out for ice cream. The best way you can show your niblings that they are important to you is by spending time with them. While not all kids want to go out for ice cream, it is a great way for them to get a little treat and spend time with their favorite auntie. I also recommend that, when you take your nieces or nephews out for ice cream, you ask them about their day and what they’re up to.

Play video games with them. One of the things my brothers used to do with our aunt is play video games together. It gave me a very happy and memorable childhood growing up and I can definitely vouch for this tip. It’s a good way for us all to have some quality time together, but it can also provide an opportunity for them to learn some new skills. If they’re playing on their own consoles, I might jump into a game with them so we can play cooperatively or compete against each other.

Never ever pressure them. Don’t forget that they’re still kids. Not adults. Don’t try to turn them into your friends, and avoid pressuring them into doing things you want them to do but not what they want. Be a good listener and offer advice when asked for it! You can’t force your niece or nephew, or anyone else for that matter, to live their lives exactly as you would like. Putting them under pressure doesn’t make you a cool aunt. Not cool.

Now that you know how to really make your niece or nephew feel special, it’s time for you to get out there and show them! Make sure you send us pictures when they’re all grown up — we can’t wait to see what you’ve accomplished!

I am living the single life

“When are you going to get married?” is the question I always get from my relatives. It was uncomfortable at first, especially when you hear it every single time you attend family gatherings. But as time goes, I got used to it and would smirk or joke about it whenever they ask.

Being single is always stereotyped as living a lonely life. Being married and having kids is usually considered a happy one. This is also our society’s standard- men and women should get married, start a family, and lead a happy, healthy, and fruitful life. But, some go against this standard. I know some folks, people from my workplace who dream of having kids while remaining single. Some are single parents, raising their children while rejecting the possibility of getting a partner. Most of these single parents are women. They think that having a partner is a headache and that they should focus their energy on raising and loving their kids. Lastly, some people chose not to be in a relationship, like me.

People would assume that I’ve been in a horrible relationship in the past and that I don’t want to have another one. This assumption is wrong and this is not always the case. I can relate my single life to my living alone. I started living alone after my partner and I broke up. We are both fine and remain friends up until today. And as I mentioned in my previous post, it’s hard. It’s hard when you’re with your friends, and they talk about their boyfriends and girlfriends and you don’t have one. It’s hard when your uncles and aunts press you about getting married and having kids. That’s the part that I don’t like.

Looking back as someone in her 30s, being single is not bad at all. It is fulfilling. The first thing that I loved the most is the solitude and its rewards. It gives me time to be creative without having someone distract me. It keeps me refreshed and energized. Most of all, it gives me time to think, reflect, and re-evaluate my life choices. In essence, you have plenty of time for yourself. When you get married and have kids, your focus would shift to your family and how to take care of them. It will give you little time for yourself. You’ll only have the time once your kids have grown up and had their own families. But how old do you think you’d be when that time comes? People say that you become more integrated with society when you’re married. This is not true. How can you meet other people and integrate into society, when you devote the majority of your time to your family? When you are single, you have the time to embrace and interact with other people, whether it’s for pleasure or network/business-related.

Now, living a single life may not be for anyone. I have some friends whom I’ve talked to before, and although they have little regrets about marrying early, they are happy with their current life with their spouses and kids. Of course, I am happy for them. I can feel their happiness whenever they talk about how their babies are starting to walk and how they learned their first words. I also know people from work who prefer being single because of economic concerns, saying spending money for their survival is already hard, what more if they have a family. I understand these views because we have our own definitions of happiness. At the moment, I am enjoying the single life and its rewards; it has made me more relaxed, collected, and open to different perspectives. I am intending to keep my lifestyle this way, although who knows what would happen in the future, right?

Evaluating your own writing skill is key

How do you evaluate your writing? Some may think of it as a hard task, especially without the help of their colleagues. But when you are in the process of writing, you are already undergoing self-assessment. Whether you are a pro or a newbie writer, it’s important that we assess ourselves and how we write to identify and reflect on our strengths and weaknesses. We must critique and acknowledge our works as they help improve our skills.

Just like any performance evaluation, you must have guide questions that you can use to score your skills. Prof. Mary Warner from San Jose State University has published a comprehensive questionnaire on assessing one’s writing skills. It’s taken from the book ‘A Community of Writers: A Workshop Course in Writing’ by Peter Elbow and Pat Belanoff, and it’s divided into 6 categories: attitudes toward writing, generating, revising, feedback, collaboration, and awareness and control of the writing process. While you may think that this is catered to students and that some of these categories may not apply, they’re an important set of questions. Plus, according to the site, one will benefit from the questionnaire if they’re all filled out three times, that way one will be able to see what changes are taking place.

Although I’ve been writing since my elementary days, I do not consider myself a professional. I’m 100% amateur, although I may have a bit more experience than others. For most of my time at school, I wrote news and short stories. When I left school, I did creative writing and wrote more short stories and fiction. And recently, I’ve been involved with advocacy writing for the organization I work for, writing press statements and sometimes propaganda speeches. I had no formal writing or journalism education; only workshop/training sessions from pro writers. Ever since I was young, I’ve always dreamed of becoming a novelist or a short story writer. I remember moments in my 3rd-grade years when I always ask my grandmother how to translate a specific word into English and then get back to my notebook to continue with what I’m writing. It’s funny because I’ve been trying hard to write in English since 3rd grade. But honestly, I can’t even write any short stories nowadays. Is it because my interest or genre of writing is slowly beginning to change? Or is it because of this thing they call ‘writer’s block?’ Anyway, I will try to post about this later.

Self-assessment is a great method as it nurtures one’s writing skills thru reflection and analysis. It may include a wide range of practices and lots of questions to answer, but all are essential to foster the growth of an aspiring writer in terms of skill and ability to take on future writing tasks. You must assess yourself from time to time; set a specific date and time of the month when you can perform a self-assessment. It’s also important to keep track of the questions you’ve answered. That way, you can compare and check what areas are improving and what needs to be improved further. As I am writing this blog post, I am currently writing a short story that I never went on to finish. Hopefully, with my little motivation, I can finally finish it by the end of this month. Wish me luck.